it’s been a while since i last blogged. i’ve been wanting to but wasn’t fully called to because i didn’t have words. now tonight i feel good enough and up to put my thoughts down.
so i’m an INFJ, one of the rare MBTI personality types, so writing is a thing for us. at least for me i know its healing for me to blog even though i do vlog too but its not the same.
tonight, i had a song stuck in my head.. it was 2 Chainz …. “all i want for my birthday is a big booty hoe”, don’t ask me why but it was just stuck in my head because my birthday is actually fast approaching. then youtube goes on and plays whatever is similar and it was playing drake songs and.. damn that was a decade ago! it played aston martin and i saw the date.. october 2010… like what!!! i still love that song and listen to it from time to time and its crazy cause 2020 is about to be over!!!
i think 2010-2011 drake was my shit! currently listening to it and just so many memories are flooding. the relationships i was in, the hollywood lifestyle, the non-stop go, go, go. The heartaches, the games, and just everything. crazy how much a decade later life completely changed. oh god, actually if my life didn’t change to what it is now.. i don’t know what kind of shit i would be into right now if i continued down that path.
its just so crazy how music can bring you right back to those moments, timelines and vaguely relive those memories is fucking wild at times. i remember my scion tc, the way i customized it, the double limo tint, the sound system, just cruising with the windows down, feeling the breeze, I was all over LA for sure. i was living in westchester, literally 2 minutes from randy’s donuts! man.. i kind of miss living there, everything was so convenient. the airport, donuts, venice beach, manhattan beach, redondo beach, playa vista, marina del rey, the fucking westfield mall by the 405. roscoe’s chicken and waffles! everything was all right there! i remember going to inglewood and there was this dollar taco truck with a parking lot where they would sell dvd’s of movies and a little stand of fresh dollar churros! so dope. i literally had everything around.
those years of my life wasn’t too bad. i mean, i dated a lot of females during my college days, i guess it was nearly like 1 per year i was in college? one i do keep in touch with as of today. she’s was always one that was super supportive and enthusiastic with what i was doing. i think that’s why she still in my life today because she was the only one that showed genuine support in everything i tried for and always believed in me, she still does today. she still speaks highly of me and we just understand one another really well. its wierd cuase given we both grown up and matured and had years apart but…we just connect. i remember we would get into shit together but good shit. our relationship was a bit wild but i mean we were young, dumb and codependent. a decade later our friendship is solid. i know she is someone that i can go to for support and for someone to tell me straight up if i’m fucking up or not. can’t find those type of people anymore, especially ones that truly have your back. but those memories with her from a decade ago. we use to go to torrance a lot to gyu kaku where the waitress would know me. (people tend to remember, i guess i make an imprint/impression on people but i remember during those college years.. people always remembered me everywhere i went. it was definitely weird but i embrace it now, ya boy just stands out)
then after that relationship, i got into a really fucked up one but before i did, i was hanging out with my friends a lot during my single days. i had a lot of fun. college friends, mcdonald coffee runs at 3am. and those fuckers would put orajel in the straws and prank me. my mouth went numb. haha but i was definitely going out so much while i was in art school. and hookah’d sooooo fucking much it was wild! dranking and smoking hookah like theres no tomorrow! don’t even ask how i managed to balance it all. i barely slept, i was apart of a car club too, i was building and designing shit. it was honestly the time of my life. i’d never change those days for the world. i miss it actually. the car scene now is different i’m sure, i’m so out of the game but it was LIFE. brought me so much joy and memories. kicking it with my boys every week, hitting up car shows, kicking it with the girls. going to the clubs. pop a few x and mollies here and there. wild. just wild.
but yeah then i got into this relationship with an older woman who had a daughter. that didn’t last long and really she just needed a spot to stay and used me. i did so much for her and her daughter to get played but it is what it is. i was still supportive and did what i could. i think she needed me more than i needed her and i’m ok with that. ( a lot of my relationships were like this) we slept in the same bed but wasn’t even together. i didn’t have the heart to kick her and her daughter out. i had a roommate living in my living room and its crazy because shit was going down during this time. i remember having a talk with her because christmas was approaching and i was like look.. you have till the end of the year to find a place because i didn’t want you and your daughter to not have a spot during the holidays.
OH i almost forgot. during those times… the clubbing and friends.. there was one friend in particular… we was feeling each other but couldn’t be together. almost hooked up, i had the chance to but i turned it down… i still remember it like it was yesterday. our first kiss happened downstairs of where i lived, when i was with the girl that has a daughter. so yeah i cheated. not gonna deny it, not saying its valid but everything was fucked and cheating didn’t help, even though the gf at the time been cheating the whole time. i was literally just her “safe place” to stay. anyways the kiss just happened and so much rush and energy. it’s like this crazy attraction. then we would lock eyes a lot and hold hands and it was intense and i think it was intense because we knew we can’t be together not only because i was with someone but for other reasons as well. another night, she hit me up because she was drunk at a party so i went to go get her and brought her to where she was staying at.. she got in the shower.. called me for something and she pulled me in.. unbuttoned my shirt and everything… and i turned her down. wild. soooo much happened with this girl and we never got the chance to be together and we will never be because they are happily married as of today. i don’t regret turning her down. i think things happen and turned out the way they did for a reason.
anyways so the ex with the kid…i don’t remember when or how but we did break up… but she never moved out…i was still helping her.. i didn’t know what to do but during those times like it transitioned into a friendship because it wasn’t that serious?? even though she was still sleeping in my bed..but i did start talking to someone new and started seeing them. luckily she had an apartment so i ended up spending more nights there. geez, i don’t remember how i even did all this. but i think that’s when my ex got the point that she couldn’t use me anymore cause i was no longer around. i helped that girl out so much though, helped her go to hair school, took her to and from work with weird hours because she was a bikini dancer. watched her kid and i was only 24/25 and was doing the most while again i was in art school with 17 credits per semester.
new girl was a stripper. I spent a good year and a half in stripclubs from 2011-2012?? she then became a porn star. i would be working late at school since school was open 24/7. i’d finish around 1-2am and go pick up the gf and head to LA cafe.. damn i miss LA cafe… i wonder if its still there and open cause of the pandemic.. i think i want to go back to it one day just to get the sandwich and coffee. that was our shit but it was like a regular thing we did or we would order it to get deliver to her place. she stayed in DTLA right by the 110 and 101 and i’d sleep for a little then head back home and get ready for school. now she’s the one that had me all over hollywood, sunset blvd and all over california honestly. was lucky enough to have met joanna angel. WILD. what a fucking life i was living during those times.
graduated 2011 and moved out of that spot and back to the SGV where i thought would be better but wasn’t. given where i lived at was convenient too.. i mean .. king taco , albertos, northgate market was all right there. but yeah it’s crazy how a simple song can lead to other songs and out comes all these memories. literally a decade ago… i may not have gone to a regular college and had that college party life but this is my version of it. i definitely lived my life wild and crazy during those years. wouldn’t have changed it for the world either. learned and taught me a lot.
i wouldn’t be the man i am today without those experiences. point blank.