its been a while since i felt the warm and fuzzies in my heart. no, i am not in love or in like. honestly, lately i’ve been reviewing a lot of friendships and certain individuals have kept surprising me through their support and care when i least expect it has really got me in my feels. i do, however feel in complete alignment with someone in particular and it trips me out. i adore them and i love where we are.
they have been so positive and encouraging in the way i need. i don’t think i’ve ever said anything to them regarding that nor have i been super open with them as we continue to get to know one another day by day. so its honestly surprising and yes, this is the same person that gives me hope to know my needs can truly be met.. especially i never asked or spoken about it. it is fucking crazy.
also i am still keeping my distance with a lot of people right now too because there is just too much mentally for myself right now that i do not have the energy to go dora the explorer into relationships. it is just not where i want to be. i’m open to it when it does present itself but there is no rush and i honestly would rather take the time to build a good foundation with someone before i pursue them.
testing the waters first as friends and let things flow organically the way its suppose to be, when we least expect it. i guess instead of the flirting, i rather just build a friendship and if it does become more down the road then so be it but i know i am not rushing anything or giving love and relationships a second look unless it hits me in the face. love at first sight type shit.. it better be earth fucking shattering for me to really consider things.
still on my growth journey and as of today i feel like i am definitely getting somewhere with my therapist. NOW we start the real shit. i have a lot of rebuilding to do still and so thats why i get in my feels with the perfect support. i may not have many people in my life but the ones i do have are top shelf. a rarity. i’m appreciative of each and every one of them. they got me in my feels tonight.