the past two weeks during this shadow period, i did a lot of reflecting. so much reflecting of my recent relationships, past relationships and my past self. did a lot of processing and releasing. i feel more free and more relaxed.
after taking some time to reflect back on highlight moments of when i felt shit going down in these relationships, how i showed up and acted in my past self. processing them with my new found tools and languages by having hard conversations with myself and with others who hold space for me.. has been life changing. i now realized why i showed up the way i did, i now can take responsibility and control to process and fix myself in these areas so it doesn’t bleed over to other people especially innocent people cause that would be fucked.
this self work is never ending and i’ve been so grateful for my inner circle, who have taught me a lot the past couple months. i spent the last 2 weeks in a funk because we are graduating this sunday. its a loss that i have to face, another chapter that is coming to an end. so yeah its pretty sad and i honestly didn’t think i would get here and feel these feelings. so its one to set free and release. i think i’m pretty much ready to close this chapter and excited for whats to come.
the week before the feeling loss phase, i was just in a funk because of my past showing up and there is so much to that because apparently it was pent up inside. remember how i said stress, anxiety, and feelings all sit somewhere in our bodies? or maybe i haven’t said that yet in here but look, mind, body and soul are all connected.
it was only 2 weeks since my last chiro adjustment. i went in, got adjusted and it WIPED ME THE FUCK OUT. i couldn’t do shit at all that day but rest. all the pent up shit and toxins got released and it was so overwhelmingly exhausting. i feel better now but, i didn’t realize how much the past two weeks really affected me and was stuck in my body.
life is coming back together and it feels really amazing. for once i’m taking control of my own life again. half the time i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing but i know its going towards my future if that even makes sense. embrace the unknown, its hella weird but i love it here.