” I don’t know who needs to hear this but please never date down in emotional intelligence. There’s nothing worse than trying to explain to someone why they’ve hurt you and they just don’t get it because they can’t.”
i came across that quote on instagram just now and it really struck a cord with me. as i reflect back on a lot of my relationships, i do believe this was a major issue. i hate to say it but all the people i’ve dated or have surrounded myself were just not emotionally intelligent. their energy and vibe just didn’t match mine. not that i am on above them but a lot of this makes so much sense to me why i’ve been suffering and held back/down for so long. it sounds fucked up but honestly i’ve been surrounding myself with people who didn’t understand me and hated who i am or my presence. this part of me is starting to come into a full circle. i’m going to have to take time to process this part.
anyways back to this post. i also believe that a lot of the people i was around also were just not very self aware. as i sit here and think about my life now vs. how it use to be, holy fuck… a lot of people are NOT SELF AWARE. now that i’ve found people that are emotionally intelligent and self aware, things just flow so easily. why would i ever want to go back to talking to a wall.
trying to explain peoples actions and how that made me feel is a dead end road because they honestly can’t get it. they don’t understand it at all. so again, its like wasting breathe talking to a concrete wall. i’ve now learned to move on and leave them behind because there is no way of getting through. a lot of people avoid doing the work or people claim they’ve done the work but this isn’t a one time thing. you have to continue to sit in discomfort, to learn more about yourself and building that relationship with yourself first.
my biggest take away from my past to who i am now is that people who truly do the work constantly are my people. there’s no need to explain, they just understand. when people sit through their own shit with so much discomfort running through their mind, body and soul. they show up differently. the instant connection through communication is different. i’m very thankful to have gotten to where I am as I know there is so much more work to be done and so much of myself to unfold. breaking those barriers we mentally set up for ourselves out of fear of change. i’m learning, growing and evolving and shit will continue to shift and change but these lessons in life is what makes living so beautiful.
don’t waste your time or breathe trying to explain yourself and your feelings if the first time doesn’t happen. maybe give it a chance up to 3 tries but after the third, you are talking to a wall and they just aren’t emotionally compatible with you and your vibe. its hard to let go because we want things to work or we don’t want to give up on people but know that in the end, you’ll end up hurting yourself more and potentially lose yourself in trying to explain and get someone who just can’t get it to understand. save your energy for someone worth it. save the greatest parts of you. not everyone deserves your light. you are worth it. the right people will come and you will know because you lift one another higher, you motivate one another to do better, to move forward. hang in there. remember to stay golden.